Holy humbleberry juice!
I discovered a correlation between two interactions I had, both involving a lack of boundaries and communication. My observation revealed that people who don't have good boundaries, or any at all, hardly know what to say or do when interacting with a person who is trying to utilize boundaries.
In both cases, the persons with whom I was communicating eventually just dropped out. I thought is was me for a moment (and it was, but only in part), but when I look at my life full of self-respecting, empowered folks, I see strong, clear, kind responses which create boundaries where and when they are due.
One dude straight told me my boundaries where wrong for existing and limiting him at all (paraphrasing). Yeah, if I wasn't convinced before he said that.....sheesh.
It is empowering to know another person's boundaries. I was not modeled good boundaries as a child, and have had to figure it out as I go along, one crossing at a time. As with children, boundaries give us something to bounce off of, so we can move freely and confidently within the space offered. I always feel relieved when someone says "no" or "stop", or gives me parameters for engaging them. My Spirit smiles and says "Yay! Now I know how to honor this manifestation of One I am blessed to encounter."
If you tell me your boundaries, I'll tell you mine (:
....well, I'll tell you mine even if you don't tell me yours! And therein is revealed my part in what happened (not with "Dude" above- I served him up a hearty boundary). I was not clear about my boundaries in the other case, though. I would have liked to have been. My Soul intention was to honor the connection. But I approached boundary free, and ultimately, the person went away. I have learned, and I am grateful for the lesson.
I am clear, and accept that giving regard for the boundaries of another must happen in concurrence with the setting of my own boundaries.
FREE PIE!
~ Gaia
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